All Things

Of all things, there was that smudge again. I wiped the left lens of my glasses with the edge of my t-shirt. But the smudge remained.

We were in Israel, thrilled to be back in the Land. Thankful the Father allowed us this trip. I just wished my eyes weren’t so blurry. And that smudge. Something had to be done when we got home.

This trip was like no other. Not often do we hide from falling bombs while on vacation.

We arrived home earlier than planned. But not early enough to outrun the memories of what it’s like for friends who live there. Where missiles fly. And alerts send tension throughout the region.

Getting back to “normal” wasn’t easy. And I still needed to address my vision issues.

My Story

I paid a visit to my optometrist, and we made the decision for me to follow up with a cataract specialist. I never wanted anyone to do surgery on my eyes. Sight is precious. But the time had come.

Running through the opthamologist’s tests, I was eager to get on with it. Living blurry-eyed is okay for a while. But enough is enough.

The surgeon came in and described the different lenses I could choose. The one with no cost to me since insurance would cover it. The one that would give me distance vision and correction for astigmatism. Or the multi-focal lens. The Cadillac version. The one that would allow sight near and far with no glasses needed.

I was sold. Tired of my glasses, I figured I’d spend the big bucks for the highest quality lens I could get.

But then the discussion turned to something I knew and he didn’t.

Decades ago a doctor told me I had an enlarged optic nerve and to be sure to have an opthamologist look at it. I did. He was impressed the first doctor even noticed it. And said we’d watch it.

So I and my optometrists watched it. For decades. Until less than a year ago.

Having gone in for my annual eye exam, my optometrist seemed content all was well. I asked about the nerve we were watching. And the conversation changed.

It turns out the word glaucoma I’d heard during my lifetime is just a fancy way of saying optic nerve damage. I thought glaucoma was like the flu, something that attacked you when you were old, and you simply took medicine to help get well. I knew pressure in the eye was an indicator for glaucoma, but I never bothered to look up what all it meant.

We truly don’t know what we don’t know.

Next Steps

After telling me there is a glaucoma that can show up without high intra-ocular pressure, my optometrist tested my eyes on a new machine. The graph it generated dipped into the red zone. I don’t know much, but I knew red wasn’t good.

My doctor told me not to worry. We’d check it again in three months. And even if there was a problem, it’d just mean taking a drop at night.

It sounded too easy.

It was.

Three months later, we tested again. Same results. Same statement. Don’t need to start drops yet. Come back in three months.

With the Israel trip coming up, it was bit over three months before I returned. By then I was thankful the appointment was on the books.

The test results turned out similar to the last two. This time we talked more.

I explained I was tired of being blurry-eyed. Was it old lenses? Cataracts? Not enough light coming in because my eyelids were heavy? Did I need a new prescription?

What I didn’t know was nerve damage was also an option.

Surgery

My optometrist thought removing the cataracts would be the place to start. So that’s how I found myself at the opthamologist office, discussing multi-focal lenses.

The surgeon, hearing the story of my recent optometrist visit, sent me off for a test similar to the three I’d taken over the months before.

I was in the office signing papers for cataract surgery when the doctor found me, test results in hand.

“The multi-focal lens is off the table,” he said. And he showed me his version of the printout my other doctor had shown me. This time the focal point was a circle with an X in it. For my right eye, every quadrant was green. For my left eye, the lower quadrant was red, the sides yellow, and the top green. I didn’t know much. But I knew the red wasn’t good.

Scripture tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). I know very little about how everything in our anatomy works, but the eyes and brain are amazing creations of the Father. And when those parts begin to malfunction, we pay attention to just how beautiful His creation is.

I was disappointed to lose the option of the multi-focal lens. Evidently a healthy eye is needed to adjust to such an invention. But I still had hope. Hope the cataract removal would fix my blurry vision.

Acceptance

Sometimes hope isn’t enough, and we hit events we simply have to accept.

My left eye was operated on first. I’d heard all the stories of how easy this procedure is. I guess it’s true for most cataract surgeries. But mine had complications. When I heard the surgeon say he’d seen this in every one out of three to four thousand patients, I knew something was amiss.

There’s more to that story, but a week later, we proceeded with surgery on my right eye. Thankfully with no complications as on the first eye. But four weeks later, I’m still blurry-eyed and sensitive to light. And I continue to see a smudge right where the left eye lens needs to be cleaned off. But there’s no outside lens. The newly discovered optic nerve damage is the issue.

We don’t know what we don’t know.

Until we do.

It’s taking me awhile to accept that my eyes will never see like they did. I mentally know my age, but accepting change isn’t easy even when we know it’s going to come.

Many of you reading this post have your own story of the unexpected entering your world, creating unwanted chaos. For some of you, it’s hurricane gale chaos rather than the simple thunderstorm variety.

Thankfully our Father guides us through all our changes. Gently, holding our hands, He rocks us in His arms and draws us closer to Him than we would be without this part of our journey.

God’s Grace

A few days ago during my devotions, our Abba led me to Psalm 55:22.

Cast your burden on the LORD, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.

YHWH our God has a wonderful way of speaking to us if we’ll listen.

For some reason I looked up the Hebrew meaning of the word cast. Strong’s Concordance says it means to throw out, down, or away. It’s not saying to simply lay my burden at His feet. I’m to throw it out to Him. 

And what is it I’m throwing to YHWH? My burden.

To me, burden is something heavy, weighing me down. But when I looked up the Hebrew word for burden, I found it meant what is given (by Providence); ie, a lot.

I had to stop at that point. In the past I interpreted this verse to mean if something happened in my life I didn’t like and felt was a burden, I should share that with the Lord and He would help me carry it. Instead, He tells me I’m to throw back to Him what He, in His providence, has given me in the first place.

Intrigued, I continued checking out more of the Hebrew words in this verse. According to Strong’s concordance, the meanings are as follows.

Sustain: properly, to keep in; hence, to measure; figuratively, to maintain.

Permit: to give, used with greatest latitude (put, make, etc.):-bestow…give…

Be moved: to waver; by implication, to slip, shake, fall

Putting it all together, my Father gave me a new understanding of this Scripture.

Throw out to YHWH what He has given you, the lot that is yours, whatever burden it may be, and He will keep it in, measure it, maintain it. He will never bestow upon the righteous what will make him waver, slip, or fall. (Psalm 55:22, Carolyn’s new amplified version)

Conclusion

Romans 8:28 tells us God works all things for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. Psalm 55:22 says whatever the Father allows or brings into our lives, He will hold us up when we throw it all to Him. By adding the verse in Romans, we understand, not only will God hold us up, He will use all things that come our way for our good.

Recently a sentence has been running through my mind. If God brings me to it, He will bring me through it. I’m convinced this is true. Whatever it is, it may be hard. It may be uncomfortable. It may be heart-wrenching and seemingly impossible. But our Creator never lies to us. So I’m leaning on Him and wondering what all He has for me in this.

We’ve been told in this life we’ll have troubles. Sometimes they still take us by surprise. And we struggle to accept them. But the joy of our Lord comes as we remember His promise to never leave us or forsake us. According to Psalm 55:22, if we give back to Him whatever He has given us, He will measure it out, giving us only so much as He knows we can handle while we rest in Him. And He will use all of it for our good.

Postscript

I’ve recently been able to return to the park to walk. As I do, it’s a wonderful place to pray, sing, stand in awe of our Creator, even cry if needed. To be in the presence of YHWH our God is a privilege. And when He gives us a song, we sing it.

You may have heard this one. If so or if not, maybe you’d like to sing it, too. For indeed He is worthy of all the glory.

You’re Worthy Of It All

You are worthy of it all

You are worthy of it all

For from You are all things

And to You are all things

You deserve the glory.

All things are from YHWH. Either He allows it or He brings it. Either way, nothing can touch me, or you, without the Father’s permission. And all things can be, should be, cast back to Him for His keeping.

Our Lord will sustain us. He will hold us up. And He will use whatever He allows into our lives for good.

All things.

YHWH our God is faithful. He is worthy. And He deserves the glory. Always.

Amen. And amen.

NOTE: A similar article on Hope can be found at Nothing Is Impossible With God. Blessings.

(Scripture: New King James Version; Photo: Taken by Carolyn Thigpen, Tribble Mill Park, August 2025)