Living Love

Is it possible for me to actually live love?

I was off for a day to myself. Minding my own business. Driving the hour-and-a-half to reach Gibbs Gardens for a few hours of personal time. Time for refreshment and enjoyment. Or so I thought.

When the text came reminding me of a Zoom call in fifteen minutes, I could have ignored it. But I wanted to join in on the coaching call. I figured it would be an encouragement to listen as I drove.

I heard a comment. Asked a question. And God broke into my heart.

Behind Every Behavior Is a Belief

Over a year ago I joined a nutritional coaching group. Life had held a few tough years, and I was physically run down. I needed help eating well, losing some weight, getting healthy again.

Many of the coaching calls talked about our beliefs leading to behaviors that are either a curse or a blessing. But as far as I knew, my beliefs about God and myself were pretty solid. So I mainly focused on food plans, new utensils for the kitchen to help me cook healthy, and buying real food instead of processed foods.

Until that day. Suddenly the coach was coaching me about my beliefs. My simple question about something she said led her to ask me questions that God used to tug at my heart. I’ve often said I was a Pollyanna and never thought it a bad thing. I often looked at life through rose colored glasses, but too often was surprised when people didn’t fit into the rose garden as I saw it.

What God showed me was that I actually enjoyed being a Pollyanna because I didn’t want to take into account the reality of life around me. I was being selfish expecting others to see life the way I do or believing they would respond to me the way I wanted them to instead of seeing everyone as someone unique, with needs of their own. When my expectations met with another person’s reality and their response was harsh, I was stunned and hurt. And sadly, hurt can lead any of us to react with unkindness rather than respond in love.

Change Beliefs and Behavior Can Change

Instead of a day at the gardens simply enjoying a festive day out-and-about, my heart took a hard look at what God wanted me to see. Introspection is good when our Creator uses it in His molding process.

Scripture tells me I’m made in the image of God. More than that, because I believe in, trust in, and belong to Christ, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20).

The hurt I felt from time to time because of others’ comments or actions was a result of my belief that I deserved to be treated well. But the truth is, Christ lives in me, and Christ doesn’t hold those expectations on others. In fact, He was treated horribly while on this earth and is still treated horribly today. We crucified Him with our sin. And even today those who claim to know Him often turn their back on Him or ignore Him. Others outright spurn Him.

But Christ doesn’t react like we often do. He responds with love.

I needed to change my beliefs. If I was going to change my behavior, respond to others in love rather than hurt, then I needed to change what I truly believed.

Before this, I could have quoted Galatians 2:20 to you with no trouble. For years I’ve known that verse. But obviously I didn’t really believe it, or I would have known I had no right to be offended when others treated me unpleasantly. Living love will only happen if I let God’s truth permeate my soul.

People Need Love

As I walked around the pathways of the garden, I was amazed at the color I saw. I had no idea there were so many varieties of tulips. My Father quietly pointed out to me that’s the way He made the world.

Just as there are many colors and varieties of tulips, there are many complexions and personalities of people. I shouldn’t expect everyone I meet to be the same as me. What would the world look like if all the tulips were yellow? Similarly, not everyone will think the same as I do. Or appreciate what I appreciate. Or even be nice to me because I want to be nice to them. Rather than looking at others the way I am, I need to look at them as they are. And love them as Jesus loves.

Life here can be harsh. As a child, Mom and Dad said I lived in a bubble. I guess seeing life as it is was too hard for me to handle, so I lived in a world where everyone loved each other because that was the way it’s supposed to be. As I aged, I evidently changed my bubble into what I called a Pollyanna mindset, believing everyone was nice. You can bet that led to some clashes in life that confused me. Why would someone do that? Say that? Act like that?

Often we don’t want to see things the way they are. Sometimes, that’s okay. Our hearts can only handle so much of the hurt in this world. But when my expectations for another person keep me from seeing that person as an individual with needs of his or her own, I’ve gone from protecting myself to being selfish. And selfishness isn’t God’s way.

Can I Live Love?

That afternoon was a life-changer for me. The truth of Galatians 2:20 was no longer a theory. It was a reality. I knew I had to accept the truth for several reasons. One, God’s word is true and that’s that. But secondly, Christ in me is the only way I can live love. The only way I can respond lovingly to others no matter how they respond to me.

Philippians 2:5-8 says a hard truth I need to remember.

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

Am I willing to understand this? Christ, Who lives in me, humbled Himself completely. He died for me. For all of us. He knew exactly what we’re like, but He loved us so much He let us kill Him. He took our penalty and gave us life.

Jesus didn’t expect we would see things the way He did. He didn’t stop His march to the cross because people were mean to Him. He loved people then and now, even to His death. So the question comes, what right do I have to see people differently? To expect more than my Savior received?

Just as pests and weather can harm the beauty or life of plants, circumstances in our world can wreak havoc on souls. When they do, people may be harmed in ways that cause them to strike out at others. Hurting people hurt people.

But just like a gardener deals with pests and protects plants from the weather rather than throw away plants because they’re struggling, so we should treat people with gentleness and love, desiring to salvage souls rather than trample them in the dust or push them aside.

Christ in me is my only hope of glory (Colossians 1:27). He chose to love us as we are and gave Himself for us. He willingly puts His Holy Spirit in us if we’re willing to see our need and submit to Him. When we recognize our sin and repent, He lets us come to Him and find rest.

Shouldn’t we do the same? Allow others to be as they are. Rejoice when they act in love but not take offense when they don’t? Love them and desire God’s best for them?

This behavior is absolutely impossible for me. How wonderful then that I have a God Who is the God of the impossible. He tells us to believe and with Him all things are possible (Mark 9:23). Changing my belief to absolute truth will allow my behavior to reflect the glory of the One Who lives in me.

Living love. Impossible for me. But thankfully, it’s no longer I who live, but Christ Who lives in me. And with Him, nothing is impossible!

It may take a while for this new belief to take root and grow flowers of love consistently. But what freedom to know I can say That’s not me anymore* when my immediate reaction is not one of love. Thank God He’s faithful to keep working in His people, molding us into the image of His Son.

* Credit for That’s not me anymore goes to Annette Reeder, the Biblical Nutritionist. Her ministry reaches hearts for Him in more ways than physical. Thank God He led me to the Biblical Nutrition Academy Inner Circle coaching program.

(Scripture: New King James Version; Photos: Taken by Carolyn Thigpen, Gibbs Gardens, Ball Ground, GA, March 2025)